Your wish, my treat!
by Green Tide
Summary: A clearing in the forest. Add our favorite trio with a bunch of beloved characters of other shows  or books, or bands, or etc.  and freaky situations, and you get... this? R for Random. Not to be taken seriously.
1. Wishy Washy

_**Disclaimer: Idonotownanything,ok?nothing!nothing!**_

A/N: the character "Everyone" are unnatural voices that come out of nowhere in the story, like having a live audience on a show that shouts the same thing at the same time. Something like that. Its dialogue is in italics.

It all started with a wishing pond.

"Oh, oh! Kakashi sensei, Sakura, Sasuke, look! It's a wishing pond!" said Naruto with a boyish smile on his face.

"Naruto, it's just a pond," Kakashi said, not even stopping to look.

"No, no, no. I know it's a wishing pond. Can I make a wish? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, just one, please…" he begged, jumping up and down.

"No, you can't! We need to keep going. The sun is setting and we need to search for a place to pitch up our camp, you idiotic, brainless, pathetic lump!" Sakura ranted without taking a breath. Naruto continued with his tantrum. "Please, please, please…"

Sasuke looked at this display with indifference.

"Naruto…" Kakashi growled, now annoyed.

"Let the monkey give it a try. If we don't, he'll never shut up. It'll take just a second." Sasuke said nonchalantly.

"Oh, you're soooo right, Sasuke, like always!" Sakura cheered with stars in her eyes. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Woo-hoo!" Naruto shouted as he kneeled down at the edge of the pond.

"Are you getting fond of that little demon?" Kakashi asked.

"Ha," Sasuke snorted, "he's such a gullible fool he actually thinks wishing ponds are real. Come on, we all know only wishing wells are the real deal."

"Whatever you say, Sasuke," both Kakashi and Sasuke said. Naruto closed his eyes and scooped some water up with his hands.

"I wish… an incredibly crazy (and bored) authoress will take control of our actions and make us do random and/or embarrassing stuff, and whatever she fancies," Naruto finished and he drank deeply.

For a moment, only the sounds of the forest could be heard. Then Sasuke snorted and all of them burst out laughing.

"Why are you freaking laughing?" Naruto angrily demanded. Kakashi tried to answer him, but he couldn't stop laughing. "Guys, come on! What's so funny?"

Sakura's face was red and she was gasping for air. "Of, of…*giggle*, of all the *giggle* thi…*giggle* *giggle* things…" and she guffawed even louder. Sasuke took a deep breath and wiped away a tear from his eye. "Of all the foolish and childish stuff you could have wished for, you just broke the record of the worst-used wish in the history of humanity. And chimpanzees'. Congratulations, Naruto."

"Are you insulting me?" Naruto finally asked.

"_Noooo! He's praising your one-digit IQ, dude!"_ Everyone shouted with sarcasm.

"Hey! Who said that?" Kakashi asked bewildered, looking around.

"_Your mother in shorts."_ Everyone said.

"WHAT! That was NOT nice!"

"Uhm… Kakashi sensei? Who are you talking to?" Sakura hesitantly asked.

"I'm talking with THEM!" Kakashi yelled, pointing in all directions. "Right…" Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto answered, nodding their heads.

"My wish is nothing to laugh about," Naruto said with all the dignity that he could muster, "and besides, weren't you the ones that said wishing ponds weren't real? So if they're not, the wish is probably no even coming true," he finished saying. Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi sighed in unison. "All right people, hustle, the sun is about to… uh oh!" Kakashi started saying as the night abruptly surrounded them. "Oh shit!" he stomped his foot angrily.

"Guys, you pitch up the tent. I'll go get some wood for our fire!" Sakura ordered, taking charge of the situation seeing Kakashi sensei was throwing a temper tantrum. She walked toward the trees and disappeared from sight.

"Why is SHE on charge? I'm the sexy, desired-by-all-fans-both-girls-and-boys-and-chimpanzees cool guy here!" Sasuke whined. But Naruto was quickly following Sakura's orders. "Maybe if I pitch up the tent by myself, Sakura will marry me!" he happily thought.

"That was so frigging unfair, sun! Argh! Wait… why am I mad again?" Kakashi asked himself in confusion as he found himself alone in the forest. Something shone at some bushes and Kakashi drew near. "What the hell is that? Oh, a coin! It's my lucky day!" and he ran off wildly, plunging into the dark, forbidding forest with his precious coin in his hand.

A/N: Seriously? Kakashi sensei! Your mom didn't teach you how you are NOT supposed to pick up any shiny object on random stories like this? Tuh tuh, bad Kakashi sensei, bad.


	2. Oh, crap!

Sakura walked briskly in the forest, stopping now and then to pick up some sticks. "I'll bring the biggest sticks to our camp, and build the heartiest fire, and then Sasuke will be warm and comfy, and maybe he will love me!" Sakura chirped out loud. She sat on a big rock, and looked up to the sky. "It turned dark, and so abruptly… it seemed… almost planned… huh! Whatever! I shall return to the camp now!" she exclaimed, but then looked around frantically.

"Oh uh."

**Meanwhile…**

"My coin, coin, my, mine!"

**Back**

"Oh, man! I'm lost? No shit! It's so dark, I can't see anything. Wait…" Sakura murmured, straining her eyes. "I see a little light up ahead, and I can hear little cheesy fairy music…Oh!" Sakura exclaimed. "Tinkerbell! Oh, I'm soooo glad to see you. Quick, can you take me to my camp with my friends?"

Tinkerbell nodded, (jingle lingle!) and sped off. Sakura let out a whoop of delight and followed her. They arrived into a little clearing, and the moon suddenly flooded it with silver light…

"What a stupid lamb," she said.

"And what a masochistic lion," he answered.

"Urgh! Come on!" Sakura burst out laughing. "Cheesy!"

"HEY! Who the hell are you?" asked a much annoyed Bella. "We're having a moment here, you know?"

"Of terrible importance and consequence," Edward dramatically said, punching the air with his fist.

"_You shut up, glitter boy,"_ Everyone said.

"Ash! You bitches!" Edward shouted back, voice cracking as he tried to suppress his sobs.

"Hey! Where's that cherry freak bitch?" Bella asked, looking around.

**Meanwhile…**

"It's mine! It's mine! Co, co, co, co-in!"

**Back**

"Unbelievable!" Sakura laughed, holding her stomach. "Gay."

"Jingle lingle tingle" Tinkerbell jingled(?)

"Yeah, ditto. Now, Tink, please, take me to my camp!" Sakura pleaded. Tinkerbell flied off and Sakura followed her once again. They finally got to the right clearing and Sakura collapsed in the grass, trying to catch her breath. She sat up and looked around.

"Huh? Strange. Where's everybody?" not a sound could be heard. A chill ran through Sakura's spine. "He he, I'll better get the fire going. Too dark…" she murmured. After a while, a cheerful little blaze was ready and this woke up Sakura's hunger. A twig cracked somewhere, alerting the girl. Sakura sat up straight with some shurikens in her hand. She looked around.

"Naruto? Sasuke? Kakashi sensei?" she whispered. Nothing. She didn't dare to move. Her breath hitched up a little when a noise, like breathing, was heard at a nearby tree.

"Shit," she cursed as she tensed up, ready. A sudden wind wiped Sakura's hair and the fallen leaves on the ground. Something there…

"Achoo!"

Many groans. "Damn, dude! This was supposed to be a SURPRISE attack, not a hey-let's-tell-everyone-our-location attack! Why me? What do I have to do to get a good robot army?"

"Sorry boss."

Unsettling breathing, from like a low-budget movie of space ships and wars, or something. "Whatever. You think they heard us?"

"No, boss."

"I better hide at the tent, and get a strategy going while they're distracted," Sakura thought, crawling toward the tent.

"There!There!" The same spacey cheap voice barked, "go, go, go, go!"

"Oh shit!" Sakura shrieked as she ran toward the tent. She desperately struggled with the tent flap. The inside was very dark, but she discerned a silhouette out of the corner of her eye. "What the… Naruto! What the hell are you doing? Ah, I know! You were probably snoring happily away, you lazy… Gaaaah!" Sakura yelped as something moved to the right in the tent. "Wha-? Sasuke? What, why are you…?" she stammered, confused. Naruto blushed down to his toes.

"Oh, hi! Yeah… can you pass me my shirt? You're, kind of, sitting on it…" he mumbled. Sasuke snorted as he snatched his shirt up from the floor and put it back on. Sakura's mouth dropped open like an O as realization struck her.

"Oh my gawd!" Sakura choked out, "Oh. My. Gawd."

"Would you get over it faster if I tell you it's not what it looks like?" Sasuke asked with a bored tone.

"Oh. My. Gawd."

"We've lost her," Naruto told Sasuke. The latter just shrugged.

"You, get your fat ass out of the tent, it's getting stuffy with too much people inside," Sasuke told Sakura annoyed, shoving her toward the tent flap.

"Oh my gawd."

**Elsewhere…**

Coin-san is Kakashi-kun's best friend… (8)

**Back**

As the night air met Sakura's flustered and shocked face, she remembered why she had hidden in the tent on the first place.

"Shit!" she cursed, "Guys, we're in danger! I think we're completely…" she spun around to warn the two boys but words fled her mouth. You could see masses of black silhouettes, a silent army, all around the tent, eerily illuminated with light sabers.

"Surrounded." Said a voice in front of them.

A/N: Dum Dum Dum Da-Dum! I'll update!

A/N2: People, just to clarify, I don't hate any character that I make fun of. Seriously, I'm not a Twilight hater, or a Tinkerbell hater, or a Star Wars hater, ok? I'm actually in pretty good terms with them So, if you happen to LOVE any of the characters I make fun of, please don't flame. This fic is not to be taken seriously. And, I do not own any of them.


End file.
